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Friday, 28 November 2008

FTTH to the newly unemployed

Mid 2009 - Unemployment benefits to be paid in FTTH credits to stimulate new business starts ups from the latest round of redundancies and publicly fund the FTTH network. 3 million unemployed expected to be reduced by half due to new technology, says Minister.

Imaginary? I think not.

Due to unforeseen circumstances (and yes, my tongue is firmly in my cheek about WHY we are about to see this happen not the actuality of it), the UK is about to have AT LEAST 3 million unemployed. The majority of whom are qualified, experienced, and champing at the bit to be back in work. Imagine if:


The govt has decided to award everyone who is currently out of work FTTH credits for immediate true broadband connectivity in order to encourage new businesses and SMEs. The evidence has been growing about the need for this level of investment, and replacement of standard UB40 payments with true broadband credits has been on the cards for a few years.

Once again, the publication of Mr J's new ebook: "Surviving the Global Financial Crisis" saw the whole of Norfolk, Essex and the Docklands taken offline, and major problems on the UK network.

Having established a global following of some 8.3 million email subscribers, this latest ebook put UK broadband capacity over its limit, due to the inclusion of so-called Web 2.0 content - podcasts, video, and live Tweets - standard fare in other countries.

HSBC and other bank users reported the non-availability of the Network at around 6am; however, gamers were reporting it within moments of the global announcement, hitting at about 2.04am. No UK businesses were able to get online by 8am, and residential users have been overwhelming the telephony and VoIP support networks since just before 9am, when the first HD TV bingo games normally begin.

Due to the over-employment of ex-railway employees and others in the public sector during the past decade or so, the unemployment figures could easily rise to around 10million as the pension crisis escalates in the next 12 months. This has triggered major think tank reports from all sectors to put in place measures to deal with the developing crisis.

All unemployment payments will now be issued as FTTH and bandwidth credits, and not in cash. Several major retailers and supermarkets have agreed to accept the credits from any customer purchasing online. However, consumer protection agencies are threatening to boycott all outlets seeking this solution on the grounds that many people do not actually have an FTTH connection to their home, nor is there sufficient bandwidth available to keep the nation fed.

"The lack of food, let alone fuel for cars, and the failure of this Government to implement an integrated transport policy is exacerbating the problem, leaving many stranded in remote villages such as Fallowfield in Manchester. Unable to connect to the Net, or afford transport, were such available, we are now leaving valuable civil servants and others in their homes to rot, without work or food," said Amy Mcpherson of the Citizens Rights Agency (Politics).

We expect an update from our local reporters around the country in the next few minutes.

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